Review: Beauty Queens

"The fifty contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner.
What's a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?
Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness." 

-Goodreads

Stats:

Publisher: Scholastic Press

Release Date: May 24, 2011

Page Count: 396

Unique Elements: The Corporation interrupts the book to bring you delightful commercials

Favorite Quotes: 

"Lady 'Stache Off. Because there's nothing wrong with you...that can't be fixed."

"My platform's called Don't Even Think About It. I go into schools and I say, 'Whatever bad thing it is you're thinking of doing, don't even think about it. 'Cause I can see into your soul, and I will hide in your closet and come for you in the night, and the last sound you ever hear will be my sharp teeth popping through the flesh of my gums, ready to eat you.' Their eyes get all big. It's awesome. I love little kids, man. They're the cutest."

"Wanna rock you, girl, with a butterfly tunic./No I'm not gay, I'm just your emo eunuch...Let those other guys keep sexing./You and me, we be texting/ 'bout unicorns and rainbows and our perfect love./Girl, we fit together like a hand in a glove./Now I don't mean that nasty, tell your mom don't get mad./I even wrote 'You're awesome' on your maxi pads."

"Issuing this voluntary recall shows how much we care, and it is hard to dislike or take legal action against those who really care...If you purchased a Git R Done 447, please do not fire the weapon. Do not exhale or laugh within a five-foot radius of the 447...you will receive a discount on the purchase of The Corporation's Home Weapon Containment Robot."

"Together, the sisters had sailed out over the creek on a tire swing tied to a fat tree limb by a knotted fist of rope. One Thursday in March, the circus had come to Humble, Humble, Nebraska, like a rogue spring wind, the kind that kicks pollen into the air and sends the shoots up too early."

I finished this book a week ago. Normally I don't have motivation to write a review after that long, but this book was so funny and memorable! I can't remember laughing so many times with one novel. Libba Bray has such a sense of humor, and I will now proceed to get every other book by her. She is the master of the freaky dream sequence.

Stranded beauty queens. Hot pirates from a widely acclaimed soap opera. Secret agents. Boy bands. Ginormous people-swallowing snakes. Evil plotting dictator whose best friend has been stuffed by the taxidermist. Girls with attitude, and girls obsessed with continuing to practice for a pageant (who would have thought it'd be Miss Texas??), even when they should be building shelters and looking for food. Anything you've ever wanted to make fun of about the 21st century, this book has (and some things you've never thought of).

The dialogue makes this book a success.  Each character's personality is developed after just a few instances of speech.

Every reader will find a character to connect with: there's Adina, the chick with a brain; Mary Lou, the wild girl trying not to follow in her sister's unfortunate footsteps; Jennifer, the juvenile delinquent who was really second runner up; Sosie, who's deaf; Petra, who can't survive without her medicine; Nicole, whose mom lives vicariously through her; Shanti, the Indian girl known for being able to make popadam like her mom and grandma...and there's a whole cast of guys too! 

Oh, and Miss New Mexico has a meal tray lodged in her forehead the whole book-- that's pretty cool. 

Final Verdict: If you want a good laugh about the ridiculousness of pop culture, run, don't walk, to the nearest bookstore for a copy of Beauty Queens. 

 

 

Review: Breaking Point (Article 5 series)

After faking their deaths to escape from prison, Ember Miller and Chase Jennings have only one goal: to lay low until the Federal Bureau of Reformation forgets they ever existed.

Near-celebrities now for the increasingly sensationalized tales of their struggles with the government, Ember and Chase are recognized and taken in by the Resistance—an underground organization working to systematically take down the government. At headquarters, all eyes are on the sniper, an anonymous assassin taking out FBR soldiers one by one. Rumors are flying about the sniper’s true identity, and Ember and Chase welcome the diversion….

Until the government posts its most-wanted list, and their number one suspect is Ember herself.

Orders are shoot to kill, and soldiers are cleared to fire on suspicion alone. Suddenly Ember can’t even step onto the street without fear of being recognized, and “laying low” is a joke. Even members of the Resistance are starting to look at her sideways.

With Chase urging her to run, Ember must decide: Go into hiding…or fight back?
-Goodreads

Stats:
Publisher: Tor Teen
Release Date: Feb. 12, 2013
Page Count: 400
Favorite Quotes:

"You didn't think of those things when you were six. You only thought about how fear could be split down the middle like an orange, so both of you could eat half."

"By dawn, the weather's tantrum was over and had left the garage eerily silent."

Chase and Ember. Ember and Chase. If you've read Article 5, you will sigh with me...

Dystopians have been very popular since The Hunger Games, but I'm always on the lookout for one that stands apart. Article 5 was one such story. It had action and romance and suspense. A likable main character who'd go to any lengths to find her mom. I appreciated how the story straddled the line of present and future all at once. One whole family, a president who preached that a return to traditional values would save the country. Something like that could happen, even though our country's so obviously going in the opposite direction when you consider the issue of gay marriage. 

So I was incredibly eager to see where Simmons would take the second book, since I liked the first so much. She definitely delivered!

I read another review before picking up this book that said not to expect much romance. I disagree. It might not be hot and heavy, but who has time for this when running for their lives? This is the sweet kind, where a glance across the room has the power to comfort, to convey thoughts without words. Several instances, especially during some near-death situations, Chase demonstrates his love for Ember like they're the only two in the room. Even though the story is full of action, which is another thing I enjoyed, the romance is laced throughout in a way that grabs your heart and forces you to turn the pages.

The story starts out with Ember and Chase at the Wayland Inn, where they've been hiding with Wallace's branch of the resistance. They have lain low and Ember dreads the time they'll have to split up and go out into the square. She can't lose Chase when he's the only one who knows her old self, the only one who feels like family. This threat becomes especially frightening when a sniper targets MM soldiers right outside the Inn. Ember's name is mentioned in a nation-wide bulletin. An Article One order has been issued: soliders can shoot her without question because she might be the sniper.

The beginning was a little slow for me, but I believe that was necessary for the story. It was nice to look back and know Chase and Ember had some time between craziness to hide out before they were caught up in another plot. 

The characters surprised me in a great way. Although I liked all the crazy adventures Ember had in the first book, these characters were more relatable and interesting. I loved Sean. He and Ember's friendship continued to grow as they never gave up on trying to find his girlfriend and her former roommate, Becca. He had her back through the whole story, just like Chase. His determination to find Becca was inspiring, the same need that Chase had to constantly protect Ember. Then there was Lincoln and Houston, practically attached at the hip, but always joking despite the fact that death could sneak up on them any time. Then there was Billy, a fourteen year old who worships Wallace and was smart enough to build a mainframe so the resistance could see breaking bulletins from the FBR. Later, Truck with his missing tooth comes along. Coolest transport driver anywhere. Ember also steps up her game, learning how to fight back. Watch her take down a huge guy with a baseball bat!

This is one of those stories that put me in a good mood all day. It had hope. Sorrow. Happiness. Love. You will root for the characters, root for their cause. It resembles a futuristic underground railroad. The hope comes from the people who are willing to help, no matter the cost. This is one of the best "middle books" I've read in a series! I'd give it half a star more, except the first one was so freakin' awesome, both the writing and action, that I just couldn't. Which means, pick up Article 5 ASAP!

When you finish Breaking Point, go straight to Simmons's website and read her extra scenes! They really give you a better understanding of Chase and his motivations. I want more from him...to dig under those layers and get into his thoughts. But I was quite satisfied with those extra bits. The third novel can't come soon enough! 

 

 

 

Stacking the Shelves (#2)

 Stacking the Shelves hosted by Tynga's Reviews gives bloggers a chance to show what books they've added to their collection, whether they're purchased, borrowed, or gifted.

Happy Easter! Mine has been very relaxing. Listening to the Puerto Rican rain. This has to be the week of sequels, with the exception of a third book and a stand alone. I took some Barnes and Noble gift cards from my gracious Oklahoman students and found some really great reads.

One of the things I look at before I purchase a book is which authors recommend it. I hadn't heard of this, so it was a spur of the moment choice, but Simone Elkeles, Sarah Ockler, and Jennifer Echols have all given Miranda Kenneally high praise. Can't wait to read this romance!

 I LOVE Lauren Oliver. Can't wait to read

the last in the Delirium trilogy. The ending of 

Pandemonium was shocking!

 If you haven't checked out Article 5 yet,

it's a great dystopian. Love Chase and

Ember as a couple. The best thing about 

Simmons is she knows how to write an

action scene.

 Mafi has a way with words. It's like she paints

sentences. Still enjoy the strike through method

used by Juliette in Shatter Me. You really see what

she's thinking.

Jodi Meadows is one of my favorite

debut authors in the last 2 years!

Absolutely loved Incarnate. 

The music. Sam. Oh, Sam.

Looking forward to following more

of Ana's identity quest.

What did you get this week? Have a great holiday!

Review: The Probability of Miracles

Stats:
Publisher: Razor Bill
Release Date: Dec. 8, 2011
Page Count: 360
Would Appeal To: Sarah Dessen fans, Sara Ockler fans

Favorite Quotes:
"...she imagined a Rolf moment from The Sound of Music--the one where Rolf finds the whole family behind the tombstone in the abbey and hesitates, deciding whether or not he loves Liesl, before blowing that pansy-ass Nazi whistle. Did TYLER A WHOLE FOODS TEAM MEMBER, love her, or would he blow the whistle?"

"As Cam hugged her mother and walked back to her room, she realized she'd be spending the rest of her short life making other people feel better about the prospect of losing her."

"When he wasn't working at the restaurant, he wrote spare poems and made paintings that were quiet and clean, like whispers."

"At the end of the street the sharp white needle of the church's steeple poked into the sky as if heaven were a big balloon that needed to be popped."

Summary from GoodReads:
"Dry, sarcastic, sixteen-year-old Cam Cooper has spent the last seven years in and out hospitals. The last thing she wants to do in the short life she has left is move 1,500 miles away to Promise, Maine - a place known for the miraculous events that occur there. But it's undeniable that strange things happen in Promise: everlasting sunsets; purple dandelions; flamingoes in the frigid Atlantic; an elusive boy named Asher; and finally, a mysterious envelope containing a list of things for Cam to do before she dies. As Cam checks each item off the list, she finally learns to believe - in love, in herself, and even in miracles."

I'm going to deviate from my typical why you must read this/what bugged me review because I feel moved. Must be the Easter spirit.

This story is a snapshot of a dying girl's summer, the last few months that the doctors think she'll make it. She has her own flamingo list of mostly depressing things that she believes every teenage girl ought to experience. Her best friend Lily has her own flamingo list, but it's more positive. Lily believes that if Campbell just lives life, she'll check off all the items naturally.

Heartbreaking would be a great way to describe this book. I'd also add funny and uplifting. 

As I read this, especially the second half, I felt a smile on my face. I laughed several times and even teared up. The main character, Campbell, comes to life. It's one of those feel like you know her kind of books, like she's an actual person. She likes to use SAT words, but not obnoxiously so. Her dialogue with other characters is naturally hilarious. She's bold, not because she's dying, but because she's the kind of person who's got nothing to lose. It doesn't matter what others think of her. Despite the typical argumentative relationship with her younger sister, Cam will do anything to make her happy. Even though part of her pushes away love from others, Cam is constantly fueled by it.

Asher--swoon. Handyman. Football star. Knows his way around a boat. Master sneak-up artist. I went back to read her first romantic encounter with Asher again because the movements they make and the verbal exchange were so perfect. Asher's only flaw is he never wants to leave the town of Promise, where Cam has traveled because her mom and sister believe miracles happen there. As Cam falls for him and imagines what comes next for him, she can't picture him sticking around in the tiny Maine town where the dandelions are purple and flamingos appear mysteriously.

For a first time writer, Wendy Wunder truly understands that normal people have unique and crazy quirks. Nana gets angry to avoid being upset when her daughter and granddaughters leave. Little sis, tweeny-bopper Perry, hangs onto the hope that unicorns exist. Even Sunny, a baton twirling hippie, dances in the sand and drinks jug water by sticking her face under the spigot. All the characters had depth. I didn't truly hate anyone, although a certain French boy was annoying. Cam deals with her ups and downs gracefully. She goes through a gambit of emotions--embarrassment, denial, anger, hope, joy. 

I am not an animal person, but I appreciated the inclusion of animals in this book. From the St. Bernard puppy to Buddy the baby flamingo, animals in this book represent hope, friendship, and love. The vet in the book, Elaine, is honest and teaches Cam about the world in ways her mother never could. The saying, "It takes a village" comes to mind. So many characters are teachers in this book. Each leaves an imprint on Cam that gives her a new insight into living. Cancer doesn't have to take center stage all the time. 

This book will nestle its way into your heart. It had a bit of a slow start, but The Sound of Music references and Cam's snarky comments (and nicknames for people!) totally made up for it. The feather theme throughout, starting on the cover, was also a brilliant way to highlight events in the book.

Review: Dead to You

Stats:
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Release Date: Feb. 7, 2012
Page Count: 243
Would Appeal To: Fans of Caroline B. Cooney's The Face on the Milk Carton, Sara Zarr's Sweathearts, anyone interested in psychology

Favorite Quote:
"She leans in for a hug, and I can feel her warm sigh down my shirt collar."


 Why You Must Read This:

• Plot. We hear about abducted children all the time. But what happens when one returns to his family after several years? How does that person find a place in a family who has learned to go on, even if they're broken? Straight from the victim, McMann chronicles the hardships of re-establishing a place in a foreign world. 
• Nice flow. I'm usually obsessed with finding quotes, but this read so smoothly that I was completely absorbed in the story and forgot to look for them. Once you get into it, you won't be able to put it down, and it is such a quick read. 
• Ending! I had a slight hunch before the final punch came but had convinced myself it couldn't be right. Wow. Abrupt and powerful.
• Narrator. I love a good male point of view. This is totally realistic (speaking from a female's perspective-ha). So maybe I don't really know, but I often felt "A guy would think this." Ethan is confused after he was abducted from his own front yard at seven years old. He was kidnapped by Ellen, lived with her for years, until she left him at a group home. He lived homeless for a year before he reached out to his real parents. Everything he feels, from the hate toward his brother to his love for playing games with six year old Gracie to the intense yearning he has for his former best friend, is completely believable. McMann includes small details without going overkill on descriptions. The family dynamics in the book are great. Mama is the peacekeeper. Dad is the rule maker. Gracie is trusting. Blake can't get past the fact that his older brother would just go off in a car with strangers and is holding a grudge.
• Romance. There is a fabulous kissing scene. The intensity jumped off the page. It can be hard to make romance scenes stand out; this one is a winner!
• Message. This story really brings home the point of wanting to be needed and wanting to be loved. No matter what your life situation, you can relate to some emotion that is beautifully captured by the author. 

What Bugged Me:

• I had to ask, "That's it?" at the end. But it turned out to be a positive thing. I don't think I would have preferred a different ending. 

 

Review: Anything But Ordinary

Stats:

Publisher: Hyperion Book
Release Date: September 11, 2012
Page Count: 336
Would Appeal To: Swimmers, anyone who has dealt with a family member's trauma

I'm sad this one got such mixed reviews on GoodReads!

Why You Must Read This:

• Compelling plot. Bryce wakes up after five years of being in a coma. Everything is her different. Her once innocent twelve year old sister has become a punk rebel, her friends have graduated from college, and her boyfriend is with her best friend. Major betrayal issues from the start.
• It makes you ask "What if?" This could happen to anyone. As Bryce is at the Olympic trials, she miscalculates her dive and hits her head on the pool, knocking her unconscious. Okay, so we're not all champion swimmers, but life-threatening accidents are very real possibilities. I found myself wondering what I would do upon waking up in her situation. Sure, a second chance at life is within reach, but could I accept the fact that no one thought I'd wake up and so everyone moved on, including the love of my life? It does make sense, thinking about how much pain the left behind family and friends went through with grief and acceptance, but that doesn't make the hurt any less. It's interesting to see Bryce navigate through all the loss she feels. She'll never get back those five years. The question is, how will she move on and start as a brand new person?
• Carter. Carter is cute, smart, and a medical student who is Bryce's first new friend when she wakes up. He wants to be there for her if he'll let her. Not only does the reader see him in a protective role but also as a possible love interest. He is quiet in a way that many main YA guys are not and sits back rather than rushing her into a relationship. Some of the things he does for her, though little, are swoon worthy! He's got some pretty fabulous cooking skills to boot.
• The family dynamics are realistic. Bryce's family has basically fallen apart in her absence, which is what you'd expect when a daughter and a sister has been so well loved. Without giving too much away, I enjoyed watching that dynamic again change as Bryce comes home from the hospital and figures out her new role in the family. 
• The ending. I've been in love with endings lately. Tears will stream down your face as you read the last chapter, which says a lot about Avery's writing ability. I felt so connected to Bryce by the end of the story, and it isn't even in 1st person! Everything comes full circle in this book. I can't think of a more suitable ending. Seriously, the ending sealed this book's rating for me. 

What Bugged Me:

• Greg, Bryce's old boyfriend. He's kind of a jerk. But knowing that I had such a strong emotional response to a character, again, reveals a great deal about the author's ability to mold amazing prose.

Final Verdict:
Anything But Ordinary reminds us that life is a miracle in which every second must count. A page turner that will rip your heart out (in the best way possible). 

Review: Unspoken

Stats:
Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers
Release Date: September 11, 2012
Page Count: 370
Would Appeal To: Fans of Maggie Stiefvater

Favorite Quotes:
"'Your soul is like the souls of a thousand monkeys on crack, all smushed together.'"

"'The photocopy machine overheated and broke down. I think I can still hear the sound of it sobbing and wanting to talk about its childhood.'"

"At first glance, Rusty was a masculine version of his sister--tall, dark, and incurably lazy. He had the same athletic frame, which he draped on walls and furniture as if simply too weak to support himself."

"He met her eyes, face calm. The oak leaves above him were already gilded, autumn coming to the woods like a king in a legend, touching all the trees with brightness."

Why You Must Read This:

• Invisible friend come to life, anyone? Right from the start, this premise had me hooked. Kami has talked to Jared in her head her whole life, and sometimes she spaces out when having conversations with him. Her mom has always hoped she'd grow out of it, the kids at school used to think she was weird-- she even lost a best friend over Jared. But she's not willing to give him up. When he becomes a real person, one of the Lynburns who moves back to the spooky manor at the top of the hill, Kami practically has a mental breakdown. She isn't crazy, and she has to figure out how to live in a world that's scarier, now that he's an actual person she must interact with. 
• I laughed out loud, in the gym! So I tend to start new books while I'm working out...let's just say I'm glad no one else was around. Within the first three chapters, I was cracking up. Kami starts a school newspaper in a cramped office with only her best friend Angela to keep her company. Angela's really only in it for the napping couch. Soon, the mysterious Ash Lynburn appears, a perfect interviewee for her story on "The Return of the Lynburns."
• Magic. Not only are all of Brennan's descriptions magical and unique, but she weaves magic through the storyline in ways you won't even see coming until, BAM, they hit you!
• Fun dialogue. I can't remember being this amused by dialogue since two years ago when I read Robin Benway's The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May, and June. The characters' speech, from self-defense instructor (and older brother of Angela) Rusty to Kami's jokester of a father, brings the story to life and makes even the most minor characters sparkle off the page.
• Kept me guessing. On more than one occasion, I found myself right there with Kami--unsure of who to trust. She is a reporter who needs to get to the bottom of mysterious events before someone--gasp--kills her! She only seems to be a little worried about the death part, thanks to her habitually curious tendancies. If you go into this story just knowing the invisible friend part (and the book jacket does an excellent job of not providing spoilers), you will be pleasantly surprised with the plot twists! Clever work, Ms. Brennan. I will be reading all of your other books.
• Emotional. The plot wasn't all fun and games. I enjoyed the relationship between Kami and Jared. Kami's good at analyzing gestures and deciphering thoughts, but of course, she misreads certain cues, as does Jared. There was a surprising moment when the 3rd person POV switched to Jared, but I also liked getting into his head a little. I found myself rooting for the good characters but also sympathizing with the ones who are unsure of whether they can fully cross the line to what we might call "bad guy." I also had a strong dislike for Ash's mom. She made my skin crawl.  
• Loved the ending. For once, abrupt equals AWESOMENESS! Your emotions might go haywire, but you will be pining for the next Lynburn Legacy book. 

What Bugged Me:

• The only thing I can think of is that Ash comes from America and uses some British phrases, like "Can I offer you a lift home?" I haven't ever heard a U.S. teen say that particular sentence. This was not nearly enough of a discrepancy to make me deduct half a butterfly on the rating scale.

Final Verdict:
Unspoken showcases a cast of cooky characters with extreme loyalties whose adventures are both hilarious and nightmarish. A memorable mystery that causes eruptions of laughter and lack of sleep.